On Being 'Super Mum'- or Not

“Super Mum!” …an idea designed to make Me and my fellow mums feel better about ourselves, say it or be told it enough times and I might start to believe it. Google it and you'll find 'Super Mum' hats, T-shirts, mugs, cards, even CAPES!  Problem is- it doesn’t work for me, see… I’m not a super mum- not by a long shot. 

But, God hasn’t called me to be a “Super Mum”. I don’t have to do it all, I don’t have to take the kids to the park and playgroup and swimming lessons every week.  My baby doesn’t have to be read a story, taken for a walk, have tummy-time every day. Relax. God has called us to be free from all the do’s and do not’s of motherhood and of life.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.     Galations 5:1

So if there is no list of “things to do" how should I mother?  

 …but through love serve one another.         

                                                   Galations 5:13

I am to serve, care for, teach and encourage my children in love.

Through the mess and haphazardness of life I am to love.

Through the business of life I am to love.

Through the baby tears, I am to love.

Through the tantrums I am to love.

Through the nightmares I am to love.

Through the pain, through the happiness I am to love.

Through the laughter and noise I am to love.

  

So simple- but NOT by any means easy!     And so I run into another problem. I am free from being a Super Mum, But I can't even be a loving mum.

I get frustrated when the baby cries in the night, I get annoyed at the kids when they want a cuddle but I’m busy, I get angry and yell at my children when the house is messy.

That’s when I found two other common ideas

“I’m not Super Mom, I will make mistakes but

I will always try my best”

 But If I'm honest I know I don’t always try my best. Often I just give up and hide in my room, the bathroom (if I can get away with it), a book or my computer.  

And even if I do give my best, deep down I know that it's just not good enough.

“But in the eyes, heart and mind of my child, I am Super mom!” OK, this MAY be true for my under 5yr olds, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to hold up once they’re teenagers!

What then? That’s when once again Jesus makes me free. A different sort of freedom, freedom to BE the mum I should be, freedom from the guilt of failure.

Firstly, when my best isn't good enough: God won't let me fail.

The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in Him; 

though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with His hand.    

                                              Psalm 37:23-24

When I acknowledge that I cannot do it myself but go to God for forgiveness and strength I know that HE will hold my hand all the way and pick me up again and again.

And secondly, when I'm struggling to even do my best: God will forgive me and give me the strength and freedom to start again and serve my children in love.

But with you there is forgiveness,

    so that we can, with reverence, serve you.  Psalm 130:4

And I know that as I fail, and turn to God for forgiveness and strength and as God picks me up again I will GROW in perseverance, in character in hope. And in love because of the love God has shown me. 

 

He will teach me to

Love through the mess of life, 

Love through the business

Love through more tears, 

Love through even more tantrums, 

Love through more sleeplessness than I thought possible, 

Love through the nightmares, 

Love through the noise 

Love through the pain and

Love through whatever else the future holds,

No, I'm not Super mum, not by my standards, not by other mum's standards, not by my kid's standards. But I do know that God has given me these kids, and God made ME their mum. God forgives and looks past my failings and  in Gods eyes and His plan, I am the best mum for these kids.