Hard Work, Rest and Waiting

I love making bread. The old fashioned way- no bread machine for me. The whole process  is therapeutic. For a good 20 minutes there is just me, my bench and the dough. and I relax and I think. Everything else is tuned out “Sorry kids, you’ll have to wait- Mum is making bread”

Today’s bread making was no different (although somewhat easier with both little kids asleep) Our family is just recovering from a bout of the flu and I’ve been getting quite frustrated by the slowness of the recovery, general grumpiness and strained relationships among other things- to put it bluntly- I wasn’t in a good mood.

So as I worked hard, flour everywhere pounding that dough, squashing it, pulling it, pushing it I had myself a little pity party.  I feel just like this bread, I feel like I’m constantly getting pushed, pulled and squashed by things in my life again and again. One thing after another happens to try me and I feel “hard pressed on every side” and there’s no way out of the hard work, mess and the constant bombardment of more.

God gives Rest

Yes life is hard but I look at the rest of that verse and am encouraged
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

No. it is hard but its not ruined. It will be ok. I will make it through this.

“When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place.” Psalm 118:5

I finish working the dough and leave the bread to rest, because that too is necessary.

God gives Growth

But God wants more for me than to just make it through, and I want more. I want to grow. I want it to all be for something. And I know just like the bread, its not just the rest that enables the bread to rise, it needs to be worked too, the working is good.

Without that hard work and without the mess of life I wouldn’t be able to learn and grow. God doesn’t just help me through it- he Grows me by it. The hard times are good.

 Then, as I punch down my nicely risen dough, because although it rose, it still needs more work, I feel it again, “God I thought I was growing, but now I just can’t see it, I just see myself getting squashed. Is this really good?!” I just feel– discouraged.

and I remember  Miles’ new school verse:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Josh 1:9

God calls me to wait
And I know that through the hard work, the constant pushing and the discouragements God will work it together not just so I survive but so I GROW and I am “confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

I believe it. I know it, but mostly I’d like to see it. and thats when God calls me to trust, obey and wait on him, and that trusting, obeying and waiting is how God is growing me.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord! 

                               Psalm 27:14

I put my bread in the oven, and I wait.

My Ebenezer Stone

Today I remember a verse I have visited over and again in the past.

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” ”

EBENEZER “Thus far the LORD has helped us”.

and I look back on my life and I see time and time again where God has helped me.

When I was only little, scared of storms. 

When I was just a kid and frightened of growing up.

When I was a teenager, worried about what people would think.

When I was at university, excited to step out into a whole new world.

When I was newly married, learning so much through the ups and downs of life.

When I first held each of my precious children overwhelmed by the blessing God had given me

When my children got that tiny bit older, as i struggled  to teach them and guide them

and As we waited in uncertainty, not knowing how God would provide or where God would send us

EBENEZER thus far the Lord HAS helped me and I see how he has given me blessing after blessing along the way. The blessing my husband, our children, of friends, of church, of growth and of salvation...

And today I remember, I remember how God has been with me, all along and I know he will continue to help me.

When I’m scared of the storms raging all around me.

When I’m frightened of what God has put out before me and the change he is working in me.

When I worry about what others think of what I do or what I say.

As I step out to do the amazing things he gives me to do.

As he teaches me wonderful things in the trials and triumphs.

When it all seems so much and I’m overwhelmed by the  emotional buisiness of life.

When I struggle to connect with my children and teach them the awesome truths of God.

And so I wait, and wait again, trusting God to provide, to guide and to help

Ebenezer, God has helped me, God IS helping me, God will help me.

And so today, here, now, I say again. EBENEZER: “Thus far the LORD has helped me”

Thankyou God

“Here I raise my Ebenezer,

Hither by thy help I’ve come

And I hope by Thy good pleasure

Safely to arrive at home”

NOTE: This has been one of my favorite stories in the bible since I was a child. When I was at Highschool I would stop at the creek near our house on the way too or from school and remember That God had helped me “this far”. One year I befriended a duckling and named him Ebenezer as a reminder to myself. Years later a friend bought me a duckling for my birthday- he also was called Ebenezer
The Hymn above was one of Nathan and my special songs that we had sang at our wedding. A perfect time to remember Gods past blessings and pray for continuing guidance.

I hope I continue to set apart times in my life to remember what God has done for me, and therefore have a sure hope of his continuing love for me.