Tulips and Trust

Spring in Dunedin is a Beautiful thing. Sunshine and rain, trees bursting with blossoms, and the flowers. Oh the flowers! This year the kids planted tulips in their little gardens in our tiny backyard. Everyday we could look outside and see them growing, changing, and claiming their rightful place center stage in the kids' gardens because they are beautiful.

Although we planted our bulbs I am reminded that there is little else I or the kids did to make these flowers grow. God grows the flowers, we just enjoy them. It never ceases to amaze me that God seems to make them grow so beautiful so I can enjoy them. But he also made them beautiful for another reason. He made them beautiful to remind me of His sovereignty, His power and His love.

‘Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!’                                                          Luke 12:27-28

God made each tulip grow, he cared, so made them beautiful. And he cares for me too.

All season God grew them tall, he sprinkled the rain on their wide leaves, He opened their petals to the sun and he closed them in the night and through the hail. And he promises that if the flowers have reason to surrender to His ways, how much more reason do I, whom he loves, have to trust Him.

Yes our life goes on and we face nights and days, sunshine and storms but God promises that he is always in control. I might struggle to control my own life, and yes I might worry about basic things like how to feed my family, where we are going to live, and how we’ll be clothed. But the fact is I’m not in control, I’m never in control. I don’t know what will happen, at the moment I can’t even guess. But I do know that God does know and that He loves, cares and is providing for me.

But today I look at the kids gardens and see that spring is almost over and the tulips are dying. Summer is slowly arriving and their beauty is fading and falling away. But there is a beauty in this too, because I know God is still in control. 

I know that He will always be in control. 

Long after summer comes, the flowers fall and the plant dies, spring will come again, and again, God will grow that flower.

Yes God has always provided for me, he is providing for me and all this life he will provide for me till eventually the eternal spring will come and God will provide for me forever. 

 “You have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.”    

1 Peter 1:23

Be With Me!

My kids always want my attention.

Dakota crys for a cuddle at crazy hours of the night.

Antigone wants me to read her a book, and another, and one more.

Miles, my most demanding one, wants everything. He talks non-stop, he wants me to explain everything, he wants to help with everything and he wants my help with everything.

Last night I’d had enough.   “Stop crying.   No.   No more games,  no more cuddles,  no more stories- it's bedtime.  No you can’t get into bed with me.  No, you don’t need me all the time.  Ask Dad...   Just leave me alone”

And when they finally did leave me alone,  I finally heard them.  “Love me mum,  help me,  show me, guide me,  comfort me,  I want to be with you mum,  BE with me!”

BE WITH ME

And I realized as much as their constant need for me annoys ME sometimes, it is exactly what God loves and wants in his children.

Unlike my kids with me, I DO need to be with God all the time, in everything and GOD always wants to be with me.

I desire that they also whom You gave Me may BE WITH ME where I am.   

    John 17:23                     

HE wants me to cry for him in the night,  to read His word again and again,  He wants me to talk to him about everything I do,  to listen to everything He says,  He wants to help me in everything,  to teach me and to guide me all day long!

God wants me to BE with him.


How often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings. 
                            Matthew 23:37

Remain in me, as I also remain in you.

                                                                                                  John 15:4

ALWAYS

I often notice that when I do something special with my children,  hoping to exchange it for a break,  it doesn’t satisfy their need to be with me.  In-fact- it makes it stronger,  they want more.  One book is never enough!  One song at bedtime is never enough!  One wizzy is never enough!

One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,   

 Psalm 27:4

And again that is what God wants from me.  He doesn’t want me to be satisfied with a little bit of bible reading every now and then,  he doesn’t want me to be satisfied with a quick prayer when I’m at the end of my patience.   He wants me to be with him always.


The more time I spend with Him,  the more I’ll want to be with Him,  the more I’ll realise my need to be with Him,  the more I’ll see His great love for me.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

 Psalm 23:6                                           

And when I come to him like a little child, He won’t turn me away

Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.                                                                                                                 Matthew 19:14

At night his song is with me (Psalm 42:8),  His right hand will hold me (Psalm 139:10)  and though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. (Psalm 27:10)  He will comfort me.(Psalm 23:4)  He will be my Everlasting Father (Isaiah 9:6)

He promises to BE with me always.

I am with you always, even to the end of the age.     
                                                                  Matthew 28:20

NOTE: For all you Mums out there, who often feel like you need a break. Its not always wrong of us. As Miles reminded me when i told him about this post "Yeah mum, but you're not God".
Although we should be there when our children need us, our children also need to learn to ultimatly rely on God in the same way we need to learn it.

On Being 'Super Mum'- or Not

“Super Mum!” …an idea designed to make Me and my fellow mums feel better about ourselves, say it or be told it enough times and I might start to believe it. Google it and you'll find 'Super Mum' hats, T-shirts, mugs, cards, even CAPES!  Problem is- it doesn’t work for me, see… I’m not a super mum- not by a long shot. 

But, God hasn’t called me to be a “Super Mum”. I don’t have to do it all, I don’t have to take the kids to the park and playgroup and swimming lessons every week.  My baby doesn’t have to be read a story, taken for a walk, have tummy-time every day. Relax. God has called us to be free from all the do’s and do not’s of motherhood and of life.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.     Galations 5:1

So if there is no list of “things to do" how should I mother?  

 …but through love serve one another.         

                                                   Galations 5:13

I am to serve, care for, teach and encourage my children in love.

Through the mess and haphazardness of life I am to love.

Through the business of life I am to love.

Through the baby tears, I am to love.

Through the tantrums I am to love.

Through the nightmares I am to love.

Through the pain, through the happiness I am to love.

Through the laughter and noise I am to love.

  

So simple- but NOT by any means easy!     And so I run into another problem. I am free from being a Super Mum, But I can't even be a loving mum.

I get frustrated when the baby cries in the night, I get annoyed at the kids when they want a cuddle but I’m busy, I get angry and yell at my children when the house is messy.

That’s when I found two other common ideas

“I’m not Super Mom, I will make mistakes but

I will always try my best”

 But If I'm honest I know I don’t always try my best. Often I just give up and hide in my room, the bathroom (if I can get away with it), a book or my computer.  

And even if I do give my best, deep down I know that it's just not good enough.

“But in the eyes, heart and mind of my child, I am Super mom!” OK, this MAY be true for my under 5yr olds, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to hold up once they’re teenagers!

What then? That’s when once again Jesus makes me free. A different sort of freedom, freedom to BE the mum I should be, freedom from the guilt of failure.

Firstly, when my best isn't good enough: God won't let me fail.

The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in Him; 

though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with His hand.    

                                              Psalm 37:23-24

When I acknowledge that I cannot do it myself but go to God for forgiveness and strength I know that HE will hold my hand all the way and pick me up again and again.

And secondly, when I'm struggling to even do my best: God will forgive me and give me the strength and freedom to start again and serve my children in love.

But with you there is forgiveness,

    so that we can, with reverence, serve you.  Psalm 130:4

And I know that as I fail, and turn to God for forgiveness and strength and as God picks me up again I will GROW in perseverance, in character in hope. And in love because of the love God has shown me. 

 

He will teach me to

Love through the mess of life, 

Love through the business

Love through more tears, 

Love through even more tantrums, 

Love through more sleeplessness than I thought possible, 

Love through the nightmares, 

Love through the noise 

Love through the pain and

Love through whatever else the future holds,

No, I'm not Super mum, not by my standards, not by other mum's standards, not by my kid's standards. But I do know that God has given me these kids, and God made ME their mum. God forgives and looks past my failings and  in Gods eyes and His plan, I am the best mum for these kids.